Head Banger Confessions

Listening to loud music today, letting it be loud enough so that I feel the bass in my heart, but not so loud as to destroy the tone.  Godsmack, K's Choice, The theme from Run Lola Run, Bikini Kill, Soundgarden, and Stone Temple Pilots, to name a few. Edwin calls it my head banger music, say's he's married a rocker chick, but he's not here.

Some times I need the music to shake loose the cobwebs, sometimes I need it to feed my anger. Today it's both. I'm not angry at anyone. I'm just angry at life. Today I feel like I've been working hard forever, and I think it's life turn to kick in a little. So I'm angry, I feel let down. The work hard, give more than you get ethic is supposed to pay off, or at least pay enough.  

Tomorrow I'll probably be mad at myself for not working hard enough, but for now, anger is good. Much better than feeling sorry for yourself, and for me, it makes me work harder. Remember in Run Lola Run when she screams? It's pure force of will. I will head bang until I get there.